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Home » القذف: بين مبكّر ومتأخّر

القذف: بين مبكّر ومتأخّر

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لا يبلغ الرجل والمرأة  ذروتهما الجنسية في وقت واحد إجمالاً. فبوجود أكثر من 30 في المئة من الرجال الذين يقذفون باكراً، وخمسة في المئة يتأخرون في القذف، يعجّ العالم بأزواج غير متناغمين جنسياً.


لنوضح الأمر: ليست المسألة مسألة سباقٍ إلى النشوة، وما من أوّلٍ وآخر. فكلّ ما يهمّ هنا هو عوامل المزامنة والإرضاء المتبادل. فإنّ اتصالاً لا يدوم أكثر من دقيقة واحدة يُعد طبيعياً إذا ما نال الزوجان الرضى ذاته. والأمر سواءٌ بالنسبة إلى اتصال قد يدوم ساعة أو اثنتين. من هنا الحديث عن مبكّر ومتأخّر، لا عن سريعٍ وبطيء.

على قاعدة النسبية
قد تكون النسبيّة هي  القاعدة الوحيدة المعترف بها في دنيا الحواس. ولا شك في أنها ضرورية لفهم الأسباب والطرق المؤدية إلى نجاح عمليّة سير هذا النظام الدقيق المعروف باسم النشوة الجنسيّة. أضيفي أنّ رجلاً ما قد يقذف بشكل مبكّر في حالة معيّنة ومتأخّر في حالة أخرى. فالأمر كلّه متعلّق إذاً بالزوجين معاً، لا بالرجل وحده كما هو شائع. كأنّها عمليّة حسابيّة ذات معادلتين، أو معضلة لا يحلّها سوى اثنين مجتمعين.

السلاحف
تختلف الأسباب ولكن تبقى النتيجة واحدة: تأخّر الرجل في القذف قد  تسبّبه بعض الأدوية (المضادّة للاكتئاب مثلاً). ونشهد ازدياداً في عدد الرجال الذين يعانون من تأخّر القذف منذ انتشار الأدوية الموسّعة للشرايين (فياغرا، سياليس…) التي تقوّي الانتصاب وتطيل مدّته. وبما أنّ الآليّة التي تحرّض عملية القذف (الجهاز العصبي المسؤول عن التنبيه Orthosympathique) تعمل على عكس آليّة القدرة على الانتصاب (الجهاز العصبي المسؤول عن اللذّة والارتخاء Parasympathique) وبالعكس، فإنّ كلّ الأدوية التي تحثّ الجهاز العصبي المسؤول عن اللذّة تقوم  بمفعولها على حساب الجهاز العصبي المسؤول عن التنبيه فيؤدّي ذلك إلى تأخير القذف بشكل كبير.تبقى العوامل النفسية الشائعة: الحصر الناتج عن انزعاج ما، النقص في التركيز، الممارسة الميكانيكية للجنس، إلخ… كلها  من المسبّبات الرئيسة لتأخّر القذف. فبالنسبة للعديد من الرجال “البطيئين”، تقتصر العلاقة الجنسيّة على بداية (الولوج) ونهاية (القذف). فهم “بطيئون” فقط لعدم تمكّنهم من أن يكونوا “سريعين”. ولا يرون في  الطريق التي يجب سلوكها بين نقطة البداية ونقطة النهاية إلاّ رحلةً مضجرةً لدرجة تمنعهم عن التوقّف عند الشعور باللذّة. ويبقى القذف هاجسهم الأوّل والأخير وكأنّه المنال الذي يجب بلوغه لينتهي السباق، ولننتهي من هذه الورطة، ونطوي الصفحة ونعمل شيئاً آخر. لحلّ هذه المشكلة، يجب على الرجل أن يتعلّم كيفيّة التوقّف في الطريق، وتجاهل الهدف البعيد أو تحديد أهداف أخرى، قريبة. كأن يقول في نفسه: “أريد الاستمتاع باللحظة، تذوّق كل مراحل اللذّة، وما همّ لو قذفت أو لم أقذف!”.

وهذا ما يستطيع الرجل أن يتعلّمه بمساعدة الشريكة لأن عنصر المفاجأة وإظهار تجاوب الشريكة مع جهود الرجل يكسر روتين المجامعة الميكانيكيّة ويؤدّي حتماً إلى تحسين الوضع.

الأرانب
لا يُعدّ القذف المبكر عاهة، فمعظم المبتدئين يعانون منه، ومعظم هؤلاء “السريعين” يتعلّمون مع الوقت والخبرة كيفيّة السيطرة على أنفسهم. أمّا الذين لا تغيّرهم السنون، فهم من دون شكّ يعانون من حساسيّة زائدة “خام” لم يستطع التعلّم تطبيعها. فالمشكلة إذاً عند سريعي القذف هي في السيطرة على الذات!تكون حواسّ هذه الفئة من الرجال سريعة الاستجابة. ويمكن بالتالي أن يتحوّل أيّ رجل إلى “سريع” بشكل مفاجئ من دون علامات سابقة. فحين لا يكون الانتصاب كاملاً، لسبب أو لآخر، فإنّ الرجل يبلغ النشوة في وقت أقصر من العادة. ويحصل هذا أيضاً حين تصبح العلاقات الجنسيّة نادرة نتيجة لابتعاد أو لانفصال مثلاً. وتكون هنا سرعة القذف عارضاً آنياً، ولا ينبغي القلق من ظهورها.ما العمل؟ يجب قبل كل شيء تفادي تحميل “السريع” ذنباً، فهو حسّاس وسريع العطب! وهنا يأتي دور الشريكة التي يجب أن تقول في نفسها: “إن كان هو القاذف السريع، فأنا الطبيب!”.

ثلاثة مبادئ  مهمّة لحلّ هذه المشكلة:
ـ الإرادة في التغلّب على هذه “السرعة”. ويجب أن تنبع هذه  الإرادة من الرجل والمرأة على حدٍّ سواء، فما من دواء قادر وحده على حلّ هذا الموضوع. أمّا المخدِّرات الموضعيّة والأدوية المضادّة للاكتئاب، فهي تساعد على تأخير القذف ولا تعالج المشكلة جذريّاً.
ـ الزيادة في وتيرة الممارسات، مع الشريكة ذاتها، بمعدّل مرّة في اليوم.
ـ المثابرة، فما من نتيجة نحصل عليها من المحاولة الأولى.وفي مطلق الأحوال، إن كان الرجل “سريعاً” أو “بطيئاً”، فعليه الانطلاق، من دون أن ينسى أنّ في التأنّي السلامة…

تمرين مضاد للقذف المبكر:
ـ يتمدّد الرجل على ظهره. تجلس الشريكة عليه وتكون ممسكة بزمام الأمور
.ـ بعد الولوج، يجب البقاء حوالى 20 دقيقة من دون الحراك مطلقاً.
ـ بعد الحركات الأولى، حين يشعر الرجل بأنّ القذف أصبح قريباً، يجب التوقف عن الحركة مع المحافظة على الولوج.
ـ بعد أن يختفي الشعور بالقذف، تعاود الحركة، مع ضرورة التوقف عند الشعور باقتراب القذف مجدداً. أمّا إذا حدث القذف، فلا مشكلة. يمكن معاودة الكرّة بعد نصف ساعة أو الانتظار حتّى الغد.

يجب تكرار هذه التمارين باستمرار، بمعدّل مرّة في اليوم. تبدأ النتائج في الظهور بعد 15 أو حتّى 20 مرّة. وفي كل يوم، يتأخّر القذف قليلاً حتى بلوغ الهدف المنشود.

القذف المتأخر: ما الحل؟
ـ لا بد أولاً من محاولة فهم الذات واكتشاف دروب اللذّة الشخصية  بالإضافة إلى العناصر التي تساعد على رفع مستوى الإثارة واستخدامها
ـ تنشيط المخيّلة الجنسية وإطلاق عنانها في اللحظة المناسبة.
ـ تعلّم كيفية الانسياق مع الرغبات الجسدية.
ـ إن كان سبب المشكلة دواء ما، فعليك استشارة الطبيب لاستبداله بدواء آخر، أو التأكّد من إمكانية التوقف عن تناوله، وإلاّ فالتروّي حتى انتهاء مدّة العلاج.
ـ قبل إجراء أي جراحة في المسالك البولية، على زوجك الاستعلام عن نتائجها المحتملة، لأنّ ذلك سيساعد على تحمّلها بشكل أفضل في حال حدوثها (جراحة استئصال تضخّم البروستات تؤدي إلى ما نسمّيه “القذف الرجعي”، أي أنّ الرجل يصل إلى النشوة دون قذف خارجي، فالسائل المنوي يذهب إلى المثانة ومن ثم يخرج مع البول).

ـ عدم التردّد في استشارة طبيب مختصّ.

ELLE عربية

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